The Gifts of PTSD, Insomnia & Geopathic Stress

Part 1 – I never thought that by uncovering the darkness in my own life, I would be uncovering the darkness that exists in our world and in countless families and communities around the Earth.  And by facing this darkness and shining a light on it, it would allow me to know truth, freedom and peace.  These would then become my gifts to the world, not from me but through me.

So this is my story.  The backstory to the warrior poem I read at Matrixx.

It was spring 2017 and I had arrived in Peru.  For the last six months I had prepared for this journey of a lifetime since that fateful night, a year previous when I met the Shaman.  She had delivered the message from spirit that I was to take a shamanic initiaton in the jungles of Peru with the indigenous Shipibo people.

I was not surprised as you might think, hearing such a revelation.  I had always felt drawn to Peru and it remainded the number one destination on my travel list, mysterious and illusive.

So for the six months previous I had prepared my body, mind and soul for a deep dive into the unknown.  I had managed to pack everything I needed into a small rucksack, clothes, suncream, journal and countless lotions, potions and alternative remedies for every eventuality.

Reading from the Newsletter?…Start Here…

Our spiritual facilitator was a lady well known to spiritual group retreats, someone who walked their talk and had been taking groups to the jungle since 2012.  I had purchased her book and set about reading it in the few short months before arriving in South America.  It was tough going, almost as if a new language was being used.  So many revelations were encoded in the words that seemed to unravel and present themselves as I read.  I put myself on a diet of four pages a night.

“Unfortunately it hadn’t helped the insomnia that I was enduring every night between the hours of 2am and 5am”

That continued in earnest and ironically it’s the time I’m writing this now.  I had a yearning to understand the insomnia and chronic pain I was in, I felt sure there was a deep reason for it.  This yearning had been with me all through life, but more so since a personal and family crisis had forced me onto the spiritual seekers path when I was 19.  There was more to life, I knew it in my heart and soul, more than the 9-5 mundane office existance that I was being prepared for at University.

But what was it and where was it?  The answers had alluded me, even after 20 years of searching.  But now I needed the answers more than ever.  My life was no longer in quiet desperation, the pain had ramped it up a level.  I knew something dramatic had to change, I just did not know what.  Life was now screaming at me.

I suppose I had gotten to a place in life where I was systematically trying everything to feel better and to get myself unstuck.  So there was a quiet surrender to my trip to Peru, an acknowledgement that I did not know the way out of my own personal hell.

“On the surface all was well in my life”

“Just take these anti-depressants and you’ll be fine in six weeks” they all said in unison.

“I’m not taking your pills” I replied, on more than one occasion.  “I’m going to get better my way.  Naturally”

And so that had been my mantra for four long years.  All the time unable to work.  Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually broken.

I attended a yoga retreat and shortly afterwards put myself on a daily diet of gentle exercise, yoga, pilates and somatics with trips to the pool and gym.  I was avidly reading self help books and putting into practice their advice.  Meditating and practicing forgiveness to all those in my life.

I focused my mind by using my IT skills to start a software business and I locked myself away in the attic to code a new computer system whenever I was physically and mentally able.

I was inspired by Louise Hay, Doreen Virtue, Neale Donald Walsch and Wayne Dyer and their writings.  I had several sessions with healers around Ireland, including healings with a highly experienced Celtic Shaman.

I started to open up to the world of energy and met with a Psychic Medium.  She guided me to have our home cleared of toxic energies, saying the energetic stress in the land was causing struggle in our lives.  Her guidance was spot on.  The Shaman visited in 2014 to clear the geopathic stress and in doing so he completely transformed our lives.  I knew nothing about energy, nor the awful consequences it can create in your life if left unchecked.  Read more about geopathic stress and other toxic energies that affect homes here…

The night after he cleared the toxic energy, our 2 ½ year old son slept through the night for the very first time.  He had woken every night since birth and more so since he went into his own room.  We all started to sleep better.   We noticed big changes in our home, we no longer felt like we wanted to move out and leave our dream home.  The intensity within the house subsided and in our garden birds and rabbits returned.

“We were dumbfounded”

Our family life and my personal life had started to change for the better.

I was curious and super excited by what the shaman had done.  I took a course with another equally powerful Celtic Shaman and started to understand and clear toxic energy before it could settle and take hold in our lives.

I started to see the depth in life.  My life.  With shamanism, spirit had found a way to reach me.  And every part of me was starting to respond, my physical pains were easing and I was beginning to rebuild my life.

So when the time came in 2017 to take a journey to Peru and into the unknown, I was so ready.  I was ready for my shamanic initiation.

To be continued next week…If you’re not already on the email list then…